


A Life for a Life, A Heartbreak for a Heartbreak

by obsessivemuch



Category: Mulan (1998)
Genre: Angst, Chromatic Character, F/M, Gender Issues, M/M, Romance, Yuletide 2010, chromatic challenge yuletide 2010
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-24
Updated: 2010-12-24
Packaged: 2017-10-14 02:05:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/144144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obsessivemuch/pseuds/obsessivemuch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mulan stole more than his best soldier the day she met Shan-Yu's swordpoint.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Life for a Life, A Heartbreak for a Heartbreak

**Author's Note:**

  * For [isabeau](https://archiveofourown.org/users/isabeau/gifts).



"Ping?" Mulan woke to Shang's voice outside her tent. She glanced at her friends, but the dragon and cricket shrugged. She motioned for them to escape under the flap of the tent before she shoved her hair up into a messy bun and lit the candle.

"Come in," she called, her voice breaking on the last syllable as his broad shoulders pushed through the doorway. He filled her tent even as he knelt down inside. "Are we marching soon?"

His body shifted with nervous energy. "We will not march before dawn," he stated without emotion. "The men are tired."

"Aren't we all?" she said lightly although she knew why he didn't sleep this night. Grief for his father kept him awake, adrenaline pounding through his veins.

"Yes, of course. I will not keep you awake much longer, Ping." His voice sounded sharp and Mulan ached for even making him feel like he wasn't welcome. He did not give her a chance to apologize. "I wonder why you think I'm a great captain when I cannot even honor my father properly."

Her heart breaking for the man she understood far too well, Mulan sat cross-legged and watched his face steadily. "You honor your father with all you do." She didn't add that he had never shamed his father as she was doing right at this moment.

"Not all I do," he disagreed.

"What do you mean?" His eyes seemed brighter in the candelight.

"I have been having shameful feelings," he admitted, his mouth tightening angrily. Mulan waited a moment, a strange surge of feeling rising up that she barely recognized. He leaned closer and pressed a kiss on her lips as she held herself still. As first kisses went, it was almost unremarkable save for the fact that he, Shang, the man she loved, was kissing her. He pulled away and growled, "I should banish you from my army." Mulan ignored his remark and wrapped her arms around his neck to kiss him into silence. He reciprocated immediately, his tongue slipping between her lips. His hands gripped her shoulders, his fingers digging into her skin. "What are we doing?" he asked, his breathing heavy against her collarbone.

"Nothing shameful," Mulan lied, thinking about the matchmaker in her village and the threat of never marrying. After meeting Shang, she knew that she could never marry anyway - no one would ever compare to the captain in her arms.

"It's all shameful," he spat, but he didn't move away.

"How can the way we feel right now be shameful?" Mulan asked, her arms withdrawing from his neck so she could press her hand against his chest.

"I can't do this," he said and Mulan knew that she would have to remove his reservations by making the next move.

She untied his tie, admiring his skin in the candlelight as his strong chest came into view. Without hesitating, she leaned forward to press her mouth against his muscles, leaving a trail of kisses before she lightly tongued his nipples. He shuddered, his hands clenched at his sides. "Ping . . ."

"Let me do this for you, Shang," Mulan answered, moving her hands lower to his pants. He covered her fingers with a harsh grip. "Please, Shang," she repeated, her voice as close to normal as it ever had been in front of him. He released her hands and she pulled downward, revealing his cock. Unlike the rest of the men, Mulan found much to admire about Shang, but she didn't want him to change his mind so she didn't linger too long with her eyes. If nothing else, the army camp and her new friends had taught her much about how to please a man. Ling, in particular, enjoyed recounting all his visits with concubines which had opened Mulan's eyes to many things her mother probably never would have told her. Mulan wrapped her fingers around his shaft and stroked up and down rhythmically, staring as he shivered at her gentle touch. Underneath her pants, her nether regions were squirming uncomfortably at the thought of Shang doing to her what Ling did to concubines, but she focused on comforting Shang in the best way she knew. He closed his eyes and cursed under his breath as she lightly cupped his balls and bent her mouth to kiss the tip of his cock. Her tongue slid along the foreskin, causing ripples in his breathing. Pausing, she looked up at him and realized that he was the most beautiful man she had ever seen. It made her decision easier, made the words roll off her tongue even easier. "I want you inside me. I want to give you release."

His mouth opened with surprise. "That's not possible," he said.

But she very nearly smiled with all her teeth. "The men talk all the time about the way Greek men loved. Some of them even do it with the concubines." When he continued to gaze at her with astonishment, she laughed harshly. "I'm not an innocent, Shang. No one could be after what we saw today. We could die tomorrow underneath a Hun sword. Finding comfort with each other can't be that shameful, not tonight. Do you think some of the men aren't out there finding some measure of release in their tents?"

Something about her words must have sounded sensible because he nodded slightly. "We must not ever speak of this again, Ping."

"Never, my captain," she promised and blew out the candle to preserve their tryst (and her secret). She laid prone on the pad, lifting up her shirt slightly above her cotton pants. She felt the cool breeze as he carefully slid the fabric down only enough to serve his purpose, preserving some semblance of modesty for both of them.

"I've never done this before." Shang's indecisive statement provoked a laugh from Mulan.

"I haven't either." The strength in her voice seemed to wash away his hesitation. He touched her skin uncertainly, making Mulan shiver uncontrollably at the electricity of his touch. Her body trembled as he pushed her legs apart and started the interminable slide into her buttocks. Almost immediately, she felt stretched beyond the breaking point, biting her lip to keep from crying out in discomfort. As Shang ppushed the rest of his cock deep within her, she shoved her face into the pillow. He waited a moment before he grasped her hips and started to pound roughly, shaking her entire body with each movement. He grunted impatiently at her tightness, but she was a warrior sworn to this captain and a woman sworn to this man so she forced herself to unclench. She would lay down her life and her body under his command. In spite of the pain, Mulan's trembling increased with each thrust, her body betraying her with a release so sharp that she moaned. He stopped suddenly and released his seed inside her with a low animalistic noise. Wordlessly, he removed himself and moved back to the doorway of the tent. She slid her pants back up and sat up, wishing for the candlelight so she could see his eyes. "Shang?"

"Sleep well, Ping. We ride at dawn." His businesslike tone made Mulan feel smaller than a bug; still, she wished him a good night as well. Mushu and the cricket slipped back in after Shang's departure, but she kept quiet, waiting until they slept before she cried silently at the loss of her emotional innocence. She hadn't wanted tenderness after all, just a bit of actual kindness and acknowledgement that they shared something special.

* * *

In spite of her hurt, she thought nothing of saving Shang's life and the lives of her fellow soldiers yet not even the sharp pain of Shan-Yu's sword changed her heartbreak as Shang threw the sword at her feet. A life for a life and a heartbreak for a heartbreak. More than any of the men standing there, she understood how much her betrayal had cut him personally. He had wrestled with his attraction to Ping and had finally opened up yet Mulan who knew the truth, who could have ameliorated his shame, had taken advantage of his need. As he turned dismissively, his eyes slid across her body with an icy indifference that reminded her of the night before. She had stolen more than his best soldier; she had stolen Ping the lover from him.

* * *

On their wedding night, he made love to Mulan passionately and she found out just why Ling enjoyed his time with concubines so very much. But after they recovered, she kissed his chest, stroked him to erection, and asked him to love her the way that he had loved Ping in the tent. His passion remained unchanged as he fulfilled her request and she was satisfied that he loved both Mulan and Ping equally.

**Author's Note:**

> The challenge: "During- or post-movie, exploring the dynamics. Feel free to go with gen and/or friendship, or Shang/Mulan, or Shang/Ping even. Yuletide letter has more info / suggestions."
> 
> I watched this movie for the first time for this challenge and found inspiration in the gender issues of Shang/Ping so I had to write this. I hope you enjoyed and thanks for the challenge!


End file.
